Hi, Dave---I was going to wait until I heard back from you, but I’m being booted off the computer in about ten minutes, so:
I went to eBay and spent a good half hour figuring out how to list a for sale item. I got it all figured and filled out, registered to pay for it, and hit send. Was told that the Internet connection was down. Did it all again, got the same message--bear in mind, I was *on* the fricking Internet. So, chalk it up to these crazy filters here at the library. I’ve got it saved in some nebulous corner of eBay, so I’ll try it again at school tomorrow, or go to Kinko’s after school. Since there’s time, here’s what I wrote in the description. Let me know if you want me to change any of it. You should let me know sooner rather than later, though.
Here’s the copy: Dave Sim is auctioning off the right to put your advertising [Ed: Dave struck out “advertising” and wrote in “advertisement”.] on the back cover of glamourpuss No. 2, which will be released in July of 2008. The cover [Ed: Dave struck out “cover” and wrote in “ad”.] will be in full color. [Ed: Dave struck out the following sentence in full.] The winning bidder will be responsible for paying for the cost of shipping his or her artwork to Sim. In addition, the winning bidder will be paying Sim directly by credit card [Ed: Dave added “or certified cheque or money order.”]--DO NOT paypal to the listed seller. The artwork [Ed: Dave struck out “artwork” and wrote in “ad in the form of PDF computer file”.] must be received by Sim no later than the third week of June. [Ed: Dave added, “Dave Sim will be contacting the winning bidder by phone.”] Glamourpuss is a photo-realistic comic parody of the fashion industry and fashion magazines, as well as being an in-depth explanation of the photo-realistic techniques of 1940s and 1950s newspaper comic strip artwork by artists such as Alex Raymond. The sales figures for glamourpuss No. 1, which debuted in April, were over 16,500 copies sold. [Ed: Dave struck out “16,500” and wrote in “8,000”. Or, “18,000”. The printout of the fax makes it difficult to tell.] This is a rare opportunity for your advertising to be seen by a large comic-book buying audience. [Ed: Dave added, “Starting bid $500 Canadian.”]
Let me know. I’ll be gone in eight minutes from right now, so I’ll look for your answers tomorrow.
[Dave’s inserted response: Thanks, Jeff. I appreciate the “above and beyond the call” very much. (Those CRAZY filters, eh?)]
The next fax in the stack is dated 5/23/08, at 3:35 p.m., from Dave to me, and reprints the fax I had sent to him earlier, with circled numbers at the end of seven paragraphs, but I don’t have the accompanying document in which the numbers correspond to responses from him. A lost document.
The next fax is also from 5/23/08, at 8:41 p.m. It is presciently pertinent to our current times:
Hi, Dave---I’m going to respond more in depth to your latest fax on Monday, but I was wondering if I could post your quote about Hillary Clinton. I noticed that, too, and thought that it wouldn’t hit your radar screen. Boy, she and Bill really are acting as if they both just expected her to be elected de facto and now that she’s essentially out of it, they’re pulling out all the stops. Enormous sense of entitlement, as if we didn’t already know that from round one of “Billary”, eh?
Mm...Better hold off on posting the quote. I’ve been dealing with the “special needs” class for a while and I know how badly they react to the self-evident when it’s pointed out to them.
Two more weeks of 24/7 Hillary rants and I’ll give them a 5% chance of actually seeing what feminism is.
Sandeep said yesterday, “This is getting embarassing.”
I said, “Oh, no, it hasn’t even started to get embarrassing. God picked Hillary specifically for this, “I’m pretty sure.”
As Bette Davis said in All About Eve, “Fasten your seatbelts. It’s going to be a bumpy night.”
Hi, Dave---Sorry for the delay in getting you the info on the auction. I’ve been tied up with a lot of things, not the least of which is the annual summer job search.
The ad space did not sell on eBay. It did not even get any bids. Lenny C. sent me an email that I’m adding below, in which he explains why he thinks it did not sell:
[From Lenny C.]: Jeff--You didn’t fix any of the problems I mentioned to you in the auction. You have no bids, and no surprise--I personally wouldn’t bid on an auction which has so many inconsistencies.
1. Description says $500 Canadian, auction says $500 US.
2. Description says no PayPal, auction says Paypal OK.
3. Charging $10 shipping for an auction in which nothing is shipped.
PLUS, you are a zero-rated seller. It is possible but unlikely you will get bidders--and if you do, it will be at a lower price than if you did the auction right.
If you’d like, give me a call at work and I will walk you through the fixes. Alternatively, you can stop the auction early and relist it correctly. Also, my own eBay rating is 487, with sterling feedback. If Dave wants, I’d be happy to lend my credentials to him to list the auction for him.
Let me know.
[Ed: Me again.]: I see his points, except that, as far as I could tell when I put it up, there was no way to list a zero shipping charge. The listing site wouldn’t accept it when I tried.
Do you want me to contact Lenny about relisting this? Let me know and I’ll take care of it.
Yes, that would be fine. Live and learn, I guess. I’d say do whatever Lenny suggests. Getting him to post it is probably a very good idea. I’ve got a “fall-back” back cover if it comes to that, so nothing to get worked up about. In a way it’s funny--won’t let you list zero shipping cost and that’s what blows it. When on Planet Rome, let the Romans fix it. Hope you’re feeling better.
Hi, Dave--A couple of questions from Lenny:
1. Does Dave reserve the right to reject the ad based on content? And, if so, I would like to say this in the ad for the sake of honesty. I can email you and/or fax Dave the exact text of the auction before I list it, if he would like. But I would suggest something along the lines of: “Seller reserves right to reject advertisement based on content and refund auction price in full.”
2. He should allow PayPal--it will likely raise the final value of the auction--it’s so common now on eBay that many people will simply not bid on an auction if it doesn’t allow PayPal. I can take the payment and write Dave a check OR he can set up an account and I can link the auction to his account (but he needs a bank account and, I think, a credit card) to do this--he just need to go to PayPal to set it up. Either way, though, he will lose about 3% of the payment to PayPal. I think it’s worth offering this option.
[Ed: Me again:] I told him I would run them by you and get back to him tomorrow with your answer.
Also, he posted something interesting in the April comic book sales numbers that I thought you might not know about but that you might find interesting. Here it is, in a nutshell:
Dave Sim’s glamourpuss #1: 16,515
Terry Moore’s Echo #1: 16,350
Jeff Smith’s RASL #1: 16,346
I know you wrote me that the sales figures were 18,000, but I figured that included the direct orders that you got, right?
As Lenny wrote, “those are STUNNINGLY similar numbers and, to me, suggest this is much more reflection of the subset of the direct market retailers who support books by these successful indie creators than indicative of true, end reader demand. What would be the odds that books by three such diverse creators would be separated by 1% in their first months!?”
It’s fascinating. To me and Lenny, anyway.
[Ed: Dave’s inserted response:
1. Yes. Fine.
2. Lenny can take the payment and write me a cheque.
3. Sales on glamourpuss #1 were 9.321 Comics Ed., 7,100 Fashion Ed. I also offered “buy 5, get 1 free” which meant it shipped 19,705 copies, which I figured needed to be taken into account and arbitrarily set it as “half” orders...therefore, the rounded off 18,000.
If Lenny has his dad’s memoirs of the Holocaust, can he email them to Lou Copeland for inclusion on the Judenhass website? As is. His dad had a great literary voice.